What do I want to be?????

Well I can't believe it has been close to month since I last posted. My brain has always gone a million miles a minute in every direction so focus has been hard for me. I had lots of things I wanted to be when I was growing up, but being a wife and mom was top of the list, well now my husband works or sleeps most of the time and my kids either have significant others or friends or just life events which leaves me back at the table wondering what do I want to be when I grow up! I think I could be pretty happy staying home and quilting, doing geneology, visiting grandchildren, organizing scrapbooks, etc., but I think Randy would like to give up his part time job (US ARMY RESERVES) so it's probably my turn to step up to the plate and help him in his endeavors to bring home the bacon. So...I have tried my hand at teaching music at the school, I continue to teach piano and my latest is working for H&R Block. This means the next few weeks will be pretty intense for me. I enjoy most of these things most of the time, but the working with kids especially takes a toll on me. I come home very tired! It's interesting I can work in the office environment all day and not be nearly as tired as I am after a couple of hours with kids. But in weighing the jobs against each other, I am not sure any other profession shows as much appreciation for you as the love of a child. Now I am dealing with my conscious trying to decide if I am doing to much because Jordan is really at the crossroads right now. He is very supportive and does a good job of being a good kid, but I am grateful this is only a seasonal opportunity for work, because I really only have another couple of years to enjoy Jordan in our home. I also find I am not as compassionate to my husband. As much as I can find myself enjoying working, I am so grateful Randy and I made the decision to keep me in the home with the kids at all costs. It was not always easy and there may have been times when the kids felt jipped, but I think the benefits to our family far outweigh any of the negatives. At the end of the day when we are making our tally count, the only thing that will really count is the relationships we have built. I think I have rambled on but this is a good place for me to share my thoughts!