CATCH UP TIME!!!

I feel like I have been swept away with the tide!! There are so many thoughts and feelings I need to record - I know I should be doing a journal, but it is always so much easier for my fingers to type - they seem to catch up with my brain a little faster than when I write. I am learning the value of sharing your journal as I get older and appreciate so much learning about my predecessors. So if you are a blog follower of mine - this may be rather boring - but I am hoping to make a blog book and keep it for posterity! Since my last post I have had some life changing events. I spent most of the spring trying to make my last daughter, Alisa's wedding a memorable experience for all of us. There is something so spiritual, wonderful and sad all at the same time when you give a daughter away. It is so exciting to see someone care for your child as you have. It is wonderful to know they have someone to talk to, laugh with, cry with, struggle with, experience life with. But at the same time it represents an end to an era - an era of you giving your all to another spirit and sometimes it feels as if your heart will break as you turn over the responsibility you have felt all their life to another person. I have been so blessed with my son in laws - I see Heavenly Father's hand is their unions with my daughters. Each one has chosen a person so well matched to them - I know they won't be problem free unions - but I know they all have started in a beautiful way by inviting the Lord to be a partner with them.
Alisa was a fun bride - she didn't seem to have any "bridezilla" traits. She seemed very appreciative of everyone. In fact as we stood in line at one of her celebrations she made the comment to me about all her friends having trauma at their weddings and hers didn't seem to have any, it was just a beautiful day. This coming from the bride whose grandpa died the night before she got married and she had only two hours of sleep, and I'm fairly certain her mother had red eyed disease! In fact I even had one friend asked me if I was okay with this union! I responded with an emphatic yes! - can you say "glass half full!"
I feel such gratitude in my heart for not only the children Heavenly Father has blessed me with - but the most wonderful friends who were there to support me! I feel like the song from Sound of Music when Captain von Trapp and Maria sing, "Nothing comes from Nothing, Nothing ever could, so somewhere in my youth or childhood, I must have done something good"

A few weeks before the wedding, there were several experiences with the adversary - I didn't realize it, but my wise husband pointed out to me that something beautiful was about to happen and Satan didn't want me to have the experience and would do just about anything to make me feel unworthy to enter the temple. I did have a lot on my plate, but Randy gave me a blessing and commanded the spirit of the adversary to depart - I have never before had that experience, but I literally felt his presence leave my body. I went from shaking all over and feeling in the dark to calm and peaceful and renewed strength to face the challenges in my life. I am not sure I have ever had such a powerful experience distinguishing between light and dark. I feel so grateful for a husband who recognized what was happening and was able to give me a priesthood blessing on the spot! A couple of days later I was blessed with a dream where my father came to me. He had died in my dream, but his spirit came to me and told me all was well - he could use his mind, he was not in pain anymore and he would be with me at my daughter's wedding. This dream prepared me for the great loss I would suffer the next week. Tuesday before the wedding, all my children were home and we received the call that my father had quit eating, because of my dream, I knew I needed to take them to Pocatello to say good bye. It was a very hard experience for me, because even though my dad's quality of life was pretty much non existent, I wasn't ready to let him go. I came home and had a hard time sleeping the next two nights. On Thursday, I realized I needed to tell my dad it was okay to go. I called and asked Sheryl to let me talk to him. I think she thought I was nuts because she said, he won't hear you. I told her to humor me. So I told my dad I knew there was a big party in heaven waiting for him, I told him I knew he hated to be the center of attention, but would he please get on with it and get to the party. I told him we would love and care for mom and Sheryl. And then I told him good by. I knew he would be gone before I was out of the temple that night. It was a very hard time for my mother. She wanted to be with Alisa and she didn't want to leave my dad. I told her to follow her heart. She was worried what people would think if she left him to come to the temple. I told her to pray and then do what she felt was best - we would understand if she needed to hold my dad's hand and we would understand if she needed to be in the temple with Alisa. She prayed about it and said she felt like dad had been sitting on her shoulder the whole day like a little bird telling her to go to the temple. So she came - I think it was best for her, because she was able to feel his spirit with her. He most definitely was there with us in the temple. The death certificate says 6:10, but my dad was never late to anything, so I think his spirit may have left his body sooner. Randy said he felt him say "I'm right here" at about 5:32. You are never ready to lose your parent, but I must say we as a family were able to have some very spiritual experiences in the temple and the next few days. I was asked to give his life sketch. I knew it would be terribly hard for me because I am such a boob - but I also knew it was something my dad wanted and I could not say no. The next two days my mind was flooded with thoughts - I know the Comforter was with me and helping guide me as to what to say. When all was said and done - it seemed so surreal to me - I feel a little bit like I didn't get to celebrate or mourn because I was so busy just trying to hold it together.
I am so grateful for the gospel. I have had a few experiences with my dad since his death which are probably to sacred to write - but for all my posterity reading this -know that he loves you and do nothing to degrade his name! Do all that you can to attend the Holy Temple often. Serve and love your family and neighbors! Know that you are loved not only by your Heavenly Father but by all the noble ancestors who precede you - Take care of each other, because when you die there won't be a U-Haul following the hearse - but you will be able to take those sacred relationships on with you forever!
Know that I love you, I want you to find real joy in this life - more than anything I want all who know me to know I love my Savior and I know the gospel can bring peace, comfort and STRENGTH in all of our trials and adversity!

Life, just a moment in Eternity!

I have allowed myself to be overcome with busyness and my own journal and blogging and family history have been left in the dust. The past couple of weeks have held experiences which have allowed me time to reflect on those things of most importance. Randy and I have been blessed to make friends in many places. It has been my goal to maintain relationships with as many people as possible, because in one way or another they have formed who I am. Sometimes, unbeknownst to them. The past two weeks have brought unexpected deaths of two of those people. Both deaths were tragic and unexpected. Their families have meant so much to me and the grief I feel for their precious families is sometimes incapacitating. I can not imagine how they are dealing with the mortal "physical" reactions to these untimely deaths. However, there is something so spiritual about death. For those left behind it is a sad day. Even Jesus wept, when He knew He would ressurect Lazarus. Grief and mourning are a natural part of this sojourn called life...but as I think about the opportunities for those who have "graduated" on to the next moment in Eternity, I can't help but feel the presence of the Comforter and the beauty of the whole experience. My sister died in 1991 - it was very hard for me, but I feel her presence on a regular basis. Those who die have not left us, they have only moved on to the next moment - I believe they are still very much apart of our lives. In their influence, in their memory and in their example.
How grateful I am for a knowledge of my Savior and His ability to reunite us with our Father in Heaven. I am overwhelmed with the opportunity to go to the Lord's temple and feel the veil evaporate for a few moments.
I will cry with my friends, I will grieve, I may stop my own life for moment, but in the end I will rejoice with them as we learn and progress to the next level. To my dear Friends, Mary Lou and Sue and your children I say thank you for your influence, thank you for allowing me to be part of your life and if in any way I can help to bear your burden or mourn with you, thank you for the opportunity!

Tears....

Well, I thought I might make someone cry when I was doing taxes, because they wouldn't have enough to pay, but today was a great day. A couple came in who were trying hard to make a go of it. They both had made some hard choices in their lives and he had spent some time in jail, but they are married now, just had a baby and he is working hard to help turn life around. He was quite worried he wouldn't have enough to pay his taxes. I actually got him a refund in the thousands and he was so shocked and surprised he actually had tears in his eyes. It was just a fun experience! I have really enjoyed the tax job. There are times when I feel like people are lying through their teeth to me, and that is a frustrating feeling. But, it is so nice when you can help them find credits and deductions they didn't know they had coming. Anyway, life is very busy right now, but I have enjoyed it and it has also given me a chance to help pay for Alisa's wedding. I am looking forward to next weekend though, to have a break and play with grandkids! Also, looking forward to some time to catch up on blogging or journaling about some experiences I have been having! Sure glad for my blessings and opportunities!

We're All together again!!!

Christmas brought us all together. It was crazy, but it's always nice to have everyone home! We didn't quite have the basement ready, but Randy has worked very hard and I think by the wedding time it will be ready for people to stay. Having the little kids made Christmas morning fun. All Rylie wanted was a birthday hat, it was pretty cute!

Conner was very helpful at decorating the tree!

And...everyone was good sports about showing off their pjs! Even Brandon! Since I bought the fabric last January, I didn't have any more material - so he got the store special! I never realize there were so many different kinds of camo material!


I could bore everyone with lots more pictures, but these smiles are what it's all about! We reserved the church Christmas Eve and Shannon and her family spent the time with us! What a fun memory! Thanks for the blessings of family!




Were these the Erkel pictures you wanted RacheL?? Pretty funny kids!

What do I want to be?????

Well I can't believe it has been close to month since I last posted. My brain has always gone a million miles a minute in every direction so focus has been hard for me. I had lots of things I wanted to be when I was growing up, but being a wife and mom was top of the list, well now my husband works or sleeps most of the time and my kids either have significant others or friends or just life events which leaves me back at the table wondering what do I want to be when I grow up! I think I could be pretty happy staying home and quilting, doing geneology, visiting grandchildren, organizing scrapbooks, etc., but I think Randy would like to give up his part time job (US ARMY RESERVES) so it's probably my turn to step up to the plate and help him in his endeavors to bring home the bacon. So...I have tried my hand at teaching music at the school, I continue to teach piano and my latest is working for H&R Block. This means the next few weeks will be pretty intense for me. I enjoy most of these things most of the time, but the working with kids especially takes a toll on me. I come home very tired! It's interesting I can work in the office environment all day and not be nearly as tired as I am after a couple of hours with kids. But in weighing the jobs against each other, I am not sure any other profession shows as much appreciation for you as the love of a child. Now I am dealing with my conscious trying to decide if I am doing to much because Jordan is really at the crossroads right now. He is very supportive and does a good job of being a good kid, but I am grateful this is only a seasonal opportunity for work, because I really only have another couple of years to enjoy Jordan in our home. I also find I am not as compassionate to my husband. As much as I can find myself enjoying working, I am so grateful Randy and I made the decision to keep me in the home with the kids at all costs. It was not always easy and there may have been times when the kids felt jipped, but I think the benefits to our family far outweigh any of the negatives. At the end of the day when we are making our tally count, the only thing that will really count is the relationships we have built. I think I have rambled on but this is a good place for me to share my thoughts!

Top 8 in 2008

This year I debated about doing a Christmas letter and just doing my blog...I changed my mind! But instead of pictures and family news I did something a little different - so this blog is for those of you who still wanted to see our pictures and years events - I am sure we had others, but these were the ones that stood out in my mind!
1 - WICKED at Pantages! My sister, knowing my great love of the stage, gave me tickets to see Wicked in Los Angelas. So in January, She, her daughter Brittany and I went on a weekend adventure! Biggest mistake - I didn't take the camera! I loved the show for lots of reasons - just can't wait to go again!

2 - Randy gets long awaited dream of Fishing trip in Alaska with his boys, and ALISA! A great time was had by all - I would love to move back to Alaska if I could take all the kids, grandkids, etc.....but it's just to far away! I did get a chance to go to Anchorage Temple - WONDERFUL

3 - Emily and Steve grace us with our 4th Grandchild. Matthew Coey, born in May. He graciously waited for me to be done teaching school for the year, so I could be with Conner while mom was in the Hospital! Awesome experience!! His middle name is after my dad!









4 - Nate lands the biggest Silver! Enough Said!

5 - Rachel and Brad add a new little granddaughter...Kallie Christine...November 14, she couldn't wait until I was done with school, but dad had a week off of work, so they had some family time before Randy and I got down to see them!

6 - Alisa gets engaged! His name is Brandon Bitner and he is a bit of a military brat as well! She's always done everything FAST! But we know she leads a spirit led life! She chose a kindred spirit and we are excited to have him join our family!

7 - Jordan turns 16, gets drivers permit, still waiting for that FIRST DATE!

8 - We host a Family Reunion in Idaho! The whole Lowe Clan was there. Not sure how often that will happen again!


All in all 2008 was great!

Day - Week - I lost track - Neil Bradley

Okay, I am not being as faithful as when I started this blog, but I still think of my blessings much more frequently than when I began this journey! I have been thinking about Brad the last couple of days. It is fun to watch your children meld with another family. There are so many things we take and learn from them. Brad has encouraged Rachel not to have any loud voices in their home - she is so far trying hard to cooperate. I appreciated her sharing this with me, because for those of you who know me, you know I have a tendency to raise my voice, (most often, when stressed) I believe I picked that up from my dad - I learned early in life my dad's bark was much worse than his bite, so it is hard for to remember that others can be traumatized by "yelling". I imagine most people shut down when someone yells. Anyway, that is just one thing I am grateful to Brad for. In an indirect way he is teaching me. I love to watch him with his babies.
He likes to just sit and hold them and has no fear of changing diapers, etc. He is so good to take Rylie on hikes and swimming. I feel very blessed as I watch life take it's course. Emily and Rachel both seemed to pick men who compliment them and help strenghen them! So Brad...if you are reading this - I hope you know how much I love you and appreciate what you do for my daughter and granddaughters! I know I am a little more obnoxious and Rachel would say not as refined as your mom - but I sure appreciate what you teach me - sometimes just through your quiet manner. AND...Randy is thrilled to have someone who loves the outdoors as much as he does!